The Simple Self-Improvement Blog

The Biggest Mistake A Leader Can Make

joannalyns — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 11:29:14 +0000

Reprinted from: Forbes

by:Sandy Styer, Publisher in Forbes

Thanks to Procentus I’ve recently been introduced to a video blog from the Harvard Business Review on the biggest mistake a leader can make with ten insights from top academics and business thinkers. What they have to say may surprise you.

Top Ten Bad Behaviors

Putting self interest first - Bill George, Professor, Harvard Business School and former Chairman and Chief Executive Officer of Medtronic
Everything focused on the leader – Scott Snook, , Associate Professor, Harvard Business School and retired Colonel, US Army Corps of Engineer
Becoming too enamored of their own vision – Gianpiero Petriglieri, Affiliate Professor of Organizational Behavior, INSEAD
Acting too fast – Jonathan Doochin, Leadership Institute at Harvard College
Failing to embrace uncertainty - Dr. Ellen Langer, Professor, Harvard University
Arrogance – Carl Sloane, Professor Emeritus, Harvard Business School
Lacking self-reflection – Daisy Wademan Dowling, Executive Director, Leadership Development at Morgan Stanley
Failing to live up to their espoused values – Andrew Pettigrew, Professor, Said Business School, University of Oxford
Being Inauthentic – Scott Snook, Associate Professor, Harvard Business School and retired Colonel, US Army Corps of Engineers
Betraying trust – Evan Wittenberg, Head of Global Leadership Development, Google, Inc.

Mistakes One through Three

Nine thinkers, ten ideas. Let’s take a closer look. We can loosely group mistakes one through three as this: leaders start to believe it’s all about them, mistake their organization role (and the perks that go with it) as their self-worth, and fail to look beyond their inner circle.

These are the executives who hold the mistaken notion that their world is theworld. They are entitled and cloistered; and all too often they find out firsthand that the gods hate hubris.

Mistakes Four through Seven

Mistakes four, five and six don’t fall far from the first three. Leaders who make these biggest mistakes think they have all the answers. Their attitudes are arrogant, their decisions often rash, and in a world that is changing as fast as ours they miss both the threat and opportunities of uncertainty.

These executives are likely to get blindsided by reality.

Mistakes Eight, Nine and Ten

Biggest Mistake Number Ten nicely sums up this group: leaders who betray the trust of others. This kind of betrayal may range from outright fraud and malfeasance to simply saying one thing and doing another, or having two sets of rules, say, one for themselves and their friends and the second for “other people.”

These leaders are always found out because people recognize inauthenticity.

Move from Self-orientation to Service-orientation

It’s interesting to me that not one of these top thinkers said the biggest mistake a leader can make is in not paying attention to the sales pipeline, or hiring the wrong people, or letting expenses get out of hand. All of these biggest mistakes have to do with fundamentally who the leader is. Their integrity. Their understanding of something bigger than themselves. The breadth of their vision.

I suggest that the single theme which runs through all ten of the biggest mistakes is simply that leaders who make these mistakes have forgotten one thing: they have forgotten that they are in their positions to be of service to a greater good.

We can debate whether it’s a character trait, some kind of hubris, which these leaders bring with them on their rise to the top, or whether they become more and more isolated, more surrounded by yes-men (and women) or some other combination of factors which pull them into the big mistake.

But the cure is the same no matter what the cause, and the cure is a continual focus on service – to customers, to employees, to shareholders and to society at large. The cure is to move from Self-orientation to Service-orientation.

Technorati Tags: Andrew Pettigrew, Harvard Business Review, Harvard Business School, Harvard University, Leadership Institute at Harvard College, Morgan Stanley, Professor, United States Army Corps of Engineers

Get Your Ex Back – Use Strong Self Confidence

joannalyns — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 10:49:29 +0000

Reprinted from:How To Survive An Affair

by:T.W. Jackson, Publisher in How To Survive An Affair

Break up is not that uncommon, all adults have tasted it during their life, most of the time these events are forgotten and life moves on.

There are some people who never come up with such an eventuality and desperately want to get their ex-lover back into their life. It is quite possible that your ex will come back to you provided you are ready to walk an extra mile. If you’ve gotten yourself into this situation, are you willing to put in the extra effort to dig yourself out?

In fact it has been seen that 90 % break ups can be saved, if you only know few proven steps and follow them religiously. When you read this article completely, you will realize how easy it is to get your ex backwithout pulling your hair out.

Are you ready? Let’s begin!

The first step to fixing a damaged relationship is to know exactly the causes which were responsible for the break up. Once you have diagnosed the causes, it is very easy to learn from your mistakes.

There are chances that break up must have occurred due to some specific event or may some behavior which was not liked by your ex. Whatever be the causes, once you know them, you are in a better position to deal with the situation later on. You have to follow some steps to make the relationship stronger so that the break up does not take place in the future.

Another important step to win your ex love back is that you should not project yourself as needy, even though you desperately want to have your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend back.

You should not let your ex know that you cannot live without her/him. You have to be strong enough and pose as nothing has happened in your life and you are as normal as before. This is looking into basic human psychology, when you can get something easily, usually you will not cherish it. You want to be cherished, don’t you?

Your self-confidence and your good mood should always be maintained, your neediness or desperation will not bring your ex closer to you, rather, it will just push your ex away from you. It is your confidence which will compel your ex to crawl back to you.

There are many web sites which will show you exactly how you should behave in such situations; you will learn what to say and when to say. Fire up Google and do a search for such web pages. Spend some time reading and learning the correct techniques.

These simple techniques can do wonders and your ex will realize that a mistake has occurred in leaving you. These steps can work miracles and make your ex jealous which is very important tool for you to get him or her back.

The other partner will realize that the breakup had no impact on you and you have moved on nicely. This will create a sense of your importance in the eye of your ex. Therefore, it will bring your ex one step closer to you. It is very weird how we human beings think. When it comes to relationship, what we think is true is usually the opposite.

Even if you see your ex going out with another person, it should not make you upset, in any case you cannot stop it. The best way is to arrange a small meeting and sort out the differences through a proper discussion.

Behaving like a child or being needy will mar all your chances of reunion. Your right behavior and approach will help you in this mission.

Project a strong self-confidence. This confidence will make both of you realize that two of you are great, though there might be little differences.

Technorati Tags: Ex (relationship), Facebook, Google, Psychology, Relationship breakup, Relationships, Self Confidence, Social Sciences

Yoga Competition: Listen Before You Judge

joannalyns — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 10:18:58 +0000

Reprinted from: MindBodyGreen

by:Chloe Hallock, Pubisher in MindBodyGreen

Competition. It is really an unavoidable part of life. It begins at a young age, out of all your friends, who could climb a tree the fastest? Who had the prettiest hair, you or your best friend? These now laughable worries felt monumental back in the day. As we get older, competition shifts in content and form, depending on what we choose to do with our lives.

I have chosen yoga as my current life path and love it. My passion for practice and teaching is incomparable to anything else I have experienced thus far. I am constantly amazed at the power of yoga and how it continues to transform students’ bodies, minds and hearts. As a form of personal, individual movement and meditation, yoga is usually not considered a competitive sport. For this reason, the idea of a “Yoga Championship” often brings up controversy and strong reactions: “What?! Yoga and competition together? Isn’t that an oxymoron?” “How can you judge a yoga posture?” I can understand how people would ask these questions and perhaps feel defensive, but it is really in the way you look at it. Like all things, we can take an unfamiliar concept and scrutinize it, or we can listen and gain a new perspective.

The Yoga Championship is a competition, yes, but more than that it is about doing your personal best and sharing the beauty of the practice, similar to the goals of Olympics. In fact, the organization that puts on the Championship, USA Yoga, is working to bring yoga into the Olympics by 2016, a tool to bring yoga to children. Can you imagine what the world would be like if kids grew up doing yoga? I have a hunch over time chronic stress and tension would become things of the past.

Yoga competitions have been happening in India for years and are much more focused on sharing the love and joy of a personal practice with the world than trying to beat out your fellow competitor. This year, I have had the supreme pleasure of coaching a few of my students as they prepare their three minute sets, consisting of 5 compulsory postures and 2 you choose yourself. It has been such a joy to witness the personal growth and confidence these students have created through their hard work and dedication. When they get up onstage for their 3 minutes of glory, the essence of what yoga means to them shines through. To me, witnessing that blossoming is truly winning.

Another rewarding part of the Championship is connecting with so many amazing yogis and learning from each other. When I am in the presence of such inspiration, I discover a new pose I can work on, a different way of relaxing farther into a stretch or building strength. It is this camaraderie and supportive network that keeps me coming back. I feel blessed to be part of a community that is focused on everyone doing their own best and uniting to share a common passion.

I challenge you to this, next time someone brings up a subject that seems like a paradox, listen to the reasoning before jumping to your conclusion. Uncomfortable situations and ideas are the supreme breeding ground for self-discovery and expansion. The more we can be open minded and compassionate, the more ability we have to do good in the world. Let us move forward with a fresh outlook, one of receptivity and commitment to discovering our own enormous capacity.

Technorati Tags: Asana, Canada, India, Practices, Religion and Spirituality, Teachers and Centers, United States, Yoga

30 Amazing Facts About Your Brain

joannalyns — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 09:56:11 +0000

Reprinted from:Life Coaching

by:Tim Brownson, Publisher in A Daring Adventure

Useful Self Development Brain Stuff

1. You have a finite amount of will power each day because to exercise will power you need energy in the form of oxygen and glucose That’s why it’s harder to say ‘no’ when you are tired or not feeling yourself.

2. A thought is a physical pathway in the brain. The more you have that thought the more you groove that path and the easier it is to have it again. That’s why having the thought “Why do I suck?” is never a great idea.

3. Speaking of which, you have approximately 70,000 thoughts per day, although many will be the same ones looping round and round on your grooved cranial highway.

So make sure you don’t think, “Why do I suck?” 50,000 times a day, or suck ye shall.

4. Even if you consider yourself a left-brained person, your brain will still switch over to the right side every 90 to 120 minutes and then back again.

That’s why even left-brained people can have times of the day when they are more creative and right-brained people can sometimes get their taxes in order.

Note: If you want to know how you can tell which side is dominant at any one time, check outCreativity – Guaranteed and you can then plan your time accordingly.

5. Reading out loud to kids accelerates their brain development.

6. Reframing negative events in a positive light literally rewires your brain and can make you a happier person, as can regular meditation.

Some Numbers To Wrap Your Brain Around

7. The brain is approximately 75% water, but you should never drink it.

8. Your brain only weighs about 3lbs yet the greedy bastard uses between 20% and 25% of your energy supplies each day.

9. There are approximately 10 to the power of 60 atoms in the universe. Your brain laughs in the face of that figure however, as it has 10 to the power of 1,000,000 different ways it can wire itself up.

That’s the number 10 followed up with 1 million zeroes, which is to all intents and purposes (for anybody not called Stephen Hawking or Rob Collins), an infinite amount of ways.

10. Speaking of large numbers, there are approximately 1.1 trillion cells and 100 billion neurons in the average human brain.

11. The slowest speed information passes around your brain is approximately 260 mph

Brain Trivia

12. Your brain was disproportionately large compared to other organs when you were born.

That’s why babies look a bit like aliens. Not yours of course, yours are cute, just other peoples babies.

13. If you lose blood flow to your brain you will last about 10 second before you pass out.

14. Your brain has no pain receptors which is why if I managed to remove the top of your skull without you noticing I could poke around all day without you feeling a thing. The skull removal may hurt a bit though.

15. Even though we say the amygdala regulates danger, the cerebellum motor control, and the limbic system emotions etc, this is somewhat misleading as no part operates independently and all need other parts of the brain to get their job done.

16. Your peripheral vision improves at night which is why pilots are taught to use their peripheral vision when looking for traffic.

Your Brain Is Amazing

17. Leaving aside degenerative brain disease, your brain never loses the ability to learn and change because it’s effectively plastic and constantly rewiring itself.

Leopards may indeed not change their spots, but you’re not a Leopard and you can change yourself and your brain is up for the challenge.

18. It ‘s a self development urban myth that we only use 10% of our brain. We use it all and if you don’t believe me cut a bit out and see what happens.

Note: Unfortunately the new movie, Limitless due out soon is going to re-embed this myth as it’s based on the story line that we use 20% of our brain and you can take a pill to access the other 80%. Ho-hum.

19. If you were to measure your brainwave activity you wouldn’t see any drop off when you’re asleep.

You may be napping, but your brain is still working hard pumping your heart, digesting your food, maintaining your blood pressure and much more to make sure you don’t wake up dead.

20. Research has shown that the hippocampus which which deals with visual-spatial awareness, is larger in London Taxi drivers than normal people. London ‘cabbies’ have to spend months, sometimes years, learning literally every street in the Capital before they are allowed a license.

This process is known as ‘The Knowledge’ and it literally enlarges that part of their brain. Unfortunately, it doesn’t help them with anger management issues when cyclists get in their way.

21. Until relatively recently scientists thought that the brain was the only area of the human body that didn’t generate new cells. We now know that’s not true and the brain does reproduce shiny new cells for you to use

22. You have something in your brain called mirror neurons. If you see somebody stub their toe for example, the same pain area will light up in your own brain causing you to flinch.

Mirror neurons weren’t even known to exist prior to the early 1990’s, but now there is a growing belief in the scientific community they are responsible for us feeling empathy toward others.

23. When somebody takes cocaine their pleasure center (nucleus accumbens) lights up and dopamine and serotonin are released. Fortunately, you don’t have to blow your life savings, act like a dick and lose your nasal lining to get similar results.

Giving to charity or helping people in need also activates the nucleus accumbens. What a win/win that is, eh?

Your Brain Is a Dumbass

24. Multi-tasking is a self development urban myth. You simply cannot do it efficiently no matter what manufacturers of smart phones want you to believe.

According to the University of Utah, there are a few people (about 2.5% of the population) who can do two things consciously* at once without seeing any degradation in performance.

They are called super-taskers.

However, for most people all the brain is doing is going backwards and forwards very quickly and giving the illusion of multi-tasking. The reality is performance is inhibited by this approach not improved.

* I do appreciate that you can do multiple things unconsciously at once such as driving and talking. (Not texting though!)

25. Your brain is constantly lying to you when you have your eyes open. Because it cannot deal with every single detail that you’re looking at, the occipital lobe is joining the dots with what itpresumes is there.

26. Similarly, your brain doesn’t record memories like video as it would be easy to assume. It takes snapshots of the more important bits and then when you recall the event it guesses what happened in between based on prior experience.

27. Your brain finds it very easy to create false memories largely because of the above and the fact that it spends so much time guessing what’s happening.

When scientists exposed people to Photoshopped images of themselves at various event years prior they were soon able to explain what they were doing and recall the event with clarity even though they were never there.

There will be events you swear blind happened the way you remember, but never actually did. A sobering thought.

28. The reason why some Chinese born people struggle to pronounce words like ‘fried’ is not because they can’t be arsed to learn them, as I ignorantly and embarrassingly believed when I was younger.

It’s because no similar pronunciation is needed in the Chinese language.

Therefore, if they are not exposed to the English language before around the age of 3, that part of the brain is allocated to other purposes.

29. Your brain is fairly crap at distinguishing between what’s really happening and what you are merely imagining. Which is why horror films scare people and porn films, er…ahem, well you know.

30. The brain is very poor at concentrating for long periods of time and needs to clear it’s head so to speak about every 90 minutes or so.

Which is why if you’re delivering training and you want to maximize results, you should allow people to take lots of mini breaks rather than one long break for lunch.

I’d love your take. Anything surprising to you? Or do you have any amazing facts of your own? If so let me know in the comments.

Technorati Tags: Brain, Health, Lateralization of brain function, London, Nucleus accumbens, Rob Collins, Stephen Hawking, Tim Brownson

Secret Agenda’s Running Your Life Coaching Income

joannalyns — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 09:42:29 +0000

Reprinted from: Coaching Tips

by:Jeanine Yoder, Publisher in CoachesTrainingBlog

Life Coaching income takes dedication to create, so lets get rid of those secret agenda’s running defeating your ability to receive financial abundance.

What is a Secret Agenda?

Secret Agenda’s come in many forms. Have you ever said to yourself “I don’t want this to ever happen again and I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure it doesn’t”? How about “I’m going to stop myself from doing this in the future”? How about “I will never have or receive this again because it causes too much pain”?

You may find that your life coaching income is limited by past experience you have had, judgments you made or limitations you have put on yourself. Your life coaching income is begging you to take a deeper look and destroy these buggers so it can increase and grow exponentially.

What Secret Agenda’s are running all day everyday in your life and coaching business that might affect your income?

Much like a computer running background data that you can’t see, these same programs are running your ability to receive an increase in your life coach income.

How to Destroy These Agenda’s And Set Your Life Coaching Income Free

You need to start by running your business from the question not the conclusion. If you consider that your business is like a long hallway and you are trying to walk as fast as possible to the other side then you are living on total secret agenda overload. Your life coaching income can never increase if you are focused on the “how” and control. Start to slow down and notice all the doorways along the way. Rather then rushing to the end why don’t you try knocking on the door. You don’t have to know what is on the other side.

Knocking in this analogy relates to asking more questions of your business and potential. I like to play around with asking a question each day.

What can I generate or create today that will create money now and in the future for my life coaching income?

Step Out of Your Comfort Zone With Pride

We all have a Comfort level when it comes to money. A lot of people live with the comfort of barely enough to get by. If you function here you have blocked yourself from the energy and ability to receive more. This level of comfort and control will feel like what you have to maintain with your life coaching income.

Step into the energy of what it will feel like to receive unimaginable life coaching income and function from this point of energy and reference never anything less.

Vaporize Your Agenda’s Today in 5 Easy Steps

By reading this article you have already done your life coaching income a favor and brought awareness to your possible working limitations. You are an infinite being who is meant and deserves to receive.

Place value on what you do and do not accept less
Be willing to be open and receive
Start asking questions rather then making conclusions
As part of your daily practice release judgments you have put on success
Allow yourself to be and create from passion

Your life coaching income will give you a big hug and a thank you Open yourself up to lots of hugs and kisses to receive that next level of financial freedom.

Technorati Tags: Coaching Tips, life coaching, Life Coaching Income

Developing Positive Attitudes in the Workplace

joannalyns — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 09:16:41 +0000

Reprinted from:Corrections.com

by:Carl ToersBijns, Publisher in Corrections.com

Workplaces can be very negative and very challenging at times. Your place of work was created by past and present cultures, customs and practices, thus exists through its own influences, creating with it a lack of enthusiasm that is sometimes difficult to deal with. This will often frustrate those employees coming through the door unprepared to perform in such a potentially volatile or stressful environment. They have to learn and cope with this flawed encounter of procedural inconsistencies in practices or techniques of training. Most likely, these false expectations of the job or personal disappointments were created by pre-conceived beliefs, expectations and perceptions. After all, many employees expect to work in a predetermined organization that is consistent in character of their own beliefs and are extremely disappointed to find out that there is a discrepancy between their own beliefs and behaviors and those of others who appear to be doing things their.

Almost instantly, newly assigned or transferred employees are looking for a change in their daily routines to find consistencies with their own style and practices. They are challenged almost immediately to change their own perceptions of pessimism that surrounds them and change them to positive thinking. Subconsciously and rarely confessing this to be the truth, they want to get rid of those pesky and intruding negative thoughts that impair their ability to perform up to their own expectations. Patience is the key to the right timing and being at the right place to make this change in the correct manner. The “core focus of cognitive psychology” is on how people acquire, process and store information. Cognitive research shows there are methods that can improve one’s memory, increase decision-making with a higher degree of accuracy and structuring educational curricula to enhance learning or development of skills associated to the job and career steps.

Block the negative thoughts and prevent them from developing into permanent thought provoked patterns. The rookie or the transferee has to create a mindset to take control of the thinking and created better thoughts with improved patterns of behaviors that reinforce the good things of the job and makes the day worth while as you meet these extremely difficult work problems head on and with good spirits. The first thing you need to do is find those individuals who are positive and good performers. Surround yourself with those who share your values, your outlook on job and observe the way they make decisions to cope with the difficult surroundings. Therefore, in plain English, spend some time with those you consider good role models and mentors. Don’t settle for mediocre when you can excel or do better than others.

Consider every situation carefully and examine what choices you have to make the right decisions and proper practices in place. Don’t let conflict between you and others lead you down the path of frustration and self-imposed morale-busters. In other words, you control the situation and avoid letting the situation control you. Many employers consider this as a “reality check” and often do little or offer any help to adjust in this area. It has been said that in order to avoid poor morale, an organization must promote a positive culture of commitment, high expectations and encouraging healthy relationships. There will be times where you won’t be able to eliminate conflict but realistically, you can attempt to reduce or minimize your own feelings by holding onto the beliefs and staying with good choices. Focus on your decision making abilities and capabilities and try to change the conflict to work to your advantage. Seek mentors who have demonstrated similar values and the willingness to share their experiences with you.

There are three key strategies to reduce your work negativity or frustrations. They all require persistent internal intestinal fortitude [guts and courage] and confidence that these strategies are needed to be learned in order to avoid becoming a whiner or complainer that are the very same people you dislike or abhor when it comes to getting the job done. The first strategy is to focus on your supportive thinking and approach the problem open minded and with fairness. Secondly, reduce the importance of the conflict and handle it with the required attention to detail according to your training and directions provided in the academy and the workplace. Lastly, when you find the conflict to extreme or disproportionate of your own values or beliefs, find a way to minimize your feelings without changing your values, your judgment or your personal evaluations of the situation.

Practice dealing with this matter every time you realize there is a conflict and work on it with tact and diplomacy. Don’t dwell on such keywords as “nepotism, favoritism, poor communication, out of touch management, non-supportive, unfair and inconsistent, bad attitudes and non-listeners.” Pretty soon, you will have improved your ability to recognize the situation faster and better, thus making your decisions more accurately to avoid becoming overwhelmed or involved with the problem and not making it your problem.

Technorati Tags: Belief, Business, Courage, Decision making, Employment, Management, Thought, Workplace conflict

The Importance of Daily Affirmations for Kids

joannalyns — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 08:35:18 +0000

Reprinted from:Tips & Advise

by:Jessie, Publisher of Smarter Babies and Kids Blog

I loved the movie The Help for a variety of reasons, but one of the things that really touched me was every time Aibileen would tell the young girl she cared for, “You is kind. You is smart. You is important.” What a beautiful sentiment. Every kid is special and deserves to be reminded of what a remarkable person he or she is…every day.

Some people scoff at daily affirmations, thinking they’re just a bunch of nonsense, but if you think about how the human mind works, adult or child, it doesn’t seem so silly. Our minds have two parts: the conscious and subconscious mind. The conscious mind is what we use to think through problems and use reason. The subconscious mind is like a storage box that keeps our beliefs and evidence supporting those beliefs stored away. When the conscious mind is processing a thought like, “I’m pretty,” the subconscious mind looks for evidence to support that. Did people tell you you were pretty, or did they make remarks about what would make you look more attractive (in their opinion)? Those messages get stored in the subconscious from an early age. What you come to believe, based on the supporting evidence, becomes fact in your subconscious mind, no matter how reasonable or unreasonable it is, whether it’s fact or fiction.

That’s why it’s so important to think about the messages you’re sending to your children, through both your actions and words. If you’re constantly staring in the mirror and criticizing yourself for your curly hair or love handles, your kids are tucking that away in their subconscious. Just the same, if you tell your children that he never does anything right or that he can’t do something, that’s being stored as a fact in his subconscious mind, because you’re an important authority in his life. These negative beliefs are damaging and can be very hard to reprogram.

The good news is that the subconscious can be a powerful ally in building a healthy, happy self-esteem for your children. If you compliment them for the things they excel at or you admire, like being a great artist or having a pretty smile, those things become beliefs, too. It’s also key to give your kids the general positive affirmations, like Aibileen. Having those supportive reminders on a regular basis builds a strong foundation for your kids’ outlook on who they are and what makes them great. While you’re making them feel good in the moment, their subconscious minds are taking notes, and once they’re in there, those beliefs are really hard to reprogram, too.

Giving your kids supportive, loving, self-esteem-boosting daily affirmations makes them feel good about themselves as you say them, but also creates a lasting belief that will stay with them forever. Never underestimate the power of your words and actions. Your kids are taking notes.

Technorati Tags: Belief, Consciousness, Health, Help, Mind, Philosophy, Self Esteem, Subconscious

How to Pick a Wedding Dress by Silhouette

admin — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 19:02:30 +0000

By Molly Warner

When you start looking for wedding dresses, you’ll discover that the vocabulary is a little foreign. One of the most basic ways dresses are categorized is by silhouette.

So what is a silhouette? In regular English, it’s come to mean another word for outline and originated from a type of artwork in the 18^th century. In wedding-speak, a silhouette describes the general shape of the dress. Imagine the shadow of a woman wearing a wedding dress, that’s the silhouette.

The four main silhouettes are the A-line or princess silhouette, the ball gown silhouette, the mermaid or trumpet silhouette, and the sheath or slim line silhouette.

Fit for a Princess

A line or princess-style wedding dresses are fitted around hips, and then flair out into an “A” shape below your natural waist. French designer Christian Dior coined the name for this dress in the mid-20^th century. Skirts can be slim or full, but the shape hugs the upper body while hiding the legs. If you definitely want a train, an A line silhouette and train often go together.

Ball gown

At first glance, ball gown wedding dresses look very similar to the A line silhouette. Both are flattering for most body types. The skirt on the ball gown is much fuller and dramatic and there are usually layers of crinoline sewn under the skirt to give it a fuller appearance. The general shape of the ball gown has not changed much since big festive balls of the 18^th century. This extra material may make a ball gown more expensive than an A line gown in the same style.

The Mermaid or Trumpet

Also known as fit and flare dresses, mermaid and trumpet silhouettes are the most sultry of the four common silhouettes and a perennial favorite on the red carpet. These body hugging dresses end with a flare that resembles a mermaid’s tail or a trumpet. Trumpet wedding dresses offer slightly more mobility since the flare begins at the upper thigh or knee. The mermaid flares below the knee.

Sheath, Slim Line, or Column

The sheath or slim line wedding dresses fall nearly straight down from the neckline to the hem, but can be gathered at the bust or waist to give it more shape. This type of dress has a long history dating back to ancient Greece and looks best on women who are less on the curvy side.

Now armed with this vocabulary, you can get out and start shopping. Not sure what silhouette is most flattering? Check to see what the dresses in your closet look like and start with a silhouette that you know works.

Molly Warner is a writer for SimplyBridal.com, a well known retailer of high quality wedding dresses. She’s been planning her own wedding since she was a seven-year old flower girl and has written for various publications before deciding that her passion is in the bridal industry, especially wedding dresses.

Technorati Tags: wedding dresses

Positive Thinking Is Important For Boosting Self Esteem

joannalyns — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 07:33:54 +0000

Is your low self-worth making you feeling stressed and anxious? Is your low self-worth a barrier between your life and relationship? Do you often turn out to be discouraged and fail to do things you possibly can easily do? If sure, you should look for ways for boosting self-worth and lead a carefree and assured life. Read on for more data on boosting self esteem.

You will need to have constructive angle, because it helps you achieve success and happiness in life. Moreover, people who think positively are assured and successful in comparison with individuals who suppose negatively. Individuals suffering from low self worth are advised to consider the positivity in life and focus on their qualities and capabilities that makes them completely different from others. Optimistic affirmations can assist individuals rework their life they usually can at all times enjoy the good issues in life. Additionally, people really feel assured to face the challenges of life.

Having excessive self worth is essential for dwelling a worthy and a fulfilling life. A assured person is happier and doesn’t hesitate to associate along with his or her friends and family members. However, an individual affected by low self esteem often stays remoted and aloof from the rest of the world. Searching the online may also help individuals discover suggestions for reinforcing self esteem but for higher understanding there are books describing methods for enhancing self esteem and make their life higher and improved. By boosting self worth you can improve your appearance, you think positively, attempt to achieve your objectives, and develop into an inspiration for others.

People who need to purchase a e book for enhancing self esteem, should do research on the books to enhance self worth to help them make the right choice. They should buy a e book that’s outcome-oriented, nicely-researched, and is organized, thus helping people study efficient ways and strategies for enhancing self esteem. It’s also advisable to read opinions on the books describing methods to enhance self worth and develop confidence. Individuals should read an excellent e-book offering leading edge methods for enhancing self worth and make their life higher and simple.

• Reading a good ebook on boosting self worth will assist an individual be taught ways to suppose positively and imbibe positive ideas in their mind. Positive considering is useful and contribute to their life’s properly being and happiness. Positive considering is nothing however contemplating the nice things in life one has achieved in life, thus giving them the encouragement and motivation.

• Reading a great book will help individuals study efficient ways to deal with the issues in life with out being tensed and depressed. Many people suffering from low self worth fear even for small issues in life and studying a very good guide will help them face the challenges of life in the appropriate manner.

• Studying a very good guide on self worth will assist individuals overcome low self esteem by moving into the center of the issue. People suffering from low self worth should be aware of the explanations causing low self-worth and discover applicable solution to swimsuit their condition. It is advisable to look for a e book on self esteem to go well with the age and degree of the individual suffering from low self esteem.

Technorati Tags: Books, Health, Individual, James Anderson, Mental Health, Self Esteem, self help, Shopping

9 body-language tricks to being attractive

joannalyns — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 07:28:22 +0000

Psst… want the inside scoop on how to suss out if someone has a crush on you, breed some feel-good vibes on a date, or even figure out whether that cute person sitting across from you is dying for a kiss? Believe it or not, the answers to all these questions and more can be found in the mysterious science of body language. Allan Pease, author of The Definitive Book of Body Language, has been studying the messages people send with their eyes, hands, posture, and more for years. Below, we’ve asked him to answer some of the most common questions that trip people up in the dating game. Trust us, this info will come in handy.

1. Appear confident on a date even if you’re nervous inside.
People who project confidence stand erect — shoulders up, chest out. Confident people also walk slightly more quickly than average, taking medium to long strides and swinging their arms slightly like they’re in a march. A subtler thing is not to blink very often. The average blinking rate is 8 to 16 blinks per minute. If you slow yours to four, you give the impression you’re cool and in control.

2. Show someone you’re interested.
With people we like and admire, we mirror their body behavior. If the date goes well, mirroring is something you’ll do naturally, but you can also intentionally mirror the other person’s gestures and posture. It may feel weird, but the other person will just think you’re getting along really well.

3. Recognize the signals that indicate someone is interested in you.

Look for preening signals. Preening is what animals do to make themselves more attractive. In humans, some basic examples would be arranging your clothes, touching your hair, or stroking your arm. These signs may seem obvious, but people miss them all the time in a dating situation, especially men.

4. Avoid signals that turn people off.
In studies, if a speaker crosses his or her arms, the audience recalls 40 percent less of what the person says and has a more negative attitude toward the individual speaking. They can’t even say why; they’ll just say they had a bad feeling. Also avoid any scratching or touching of the face. When you hide your face, we feel like we don’t know you, and we don’t think you’re telling the truth.

5. A woman should smile and maintain eye contact to catch a guy’s attention.
It goes back to the preening signals I talked about earlier. She might twirl her hair or touch her thigh. The thing I tell women is that you can’t be too obvious. Subtlety is lost on men. When a woman wants to pick up a guy sitting across the table, often she’ll lift up her eyes and gaze at him, then look away. Women think it’s an obvious sign, but men think she’s not interested because she looks away. On the other hand, if a woman holds a guy’s gaze and gives him a big, perky smile, then he gets it.

6. A confident man will catch a woman’s attention.
When it comes to body signals, men don’t have a great range of options because in traditional courtship, women give the green lights and men make the approach. The best thing a guy can do is dress right, look confident in the ways I’ve mentioned and keep an eye out for a woman’s “green light” gestures.

7. Be careful when initiating casual physical contact; you don’t want to look desperate or clumsy.
Men should brush the point of a woman’s elbow while they’re talking. Just give it a light touch, not a grab or a squeeze. Leave it there for no more than three seconds. She’ll be aware of it and her response will tell you how she feels. If she’s not enjoying the date, it will feel like you’re touching an electric wire. Women, on the other hand, should target a man’s hand and lower arm to capture his attention.

8. Keep your hands busy so you don’t fidget during the date.
The best resting posture is anything with your palms vertical or facing up. Turning your palms down looks pushy or arrogant. Don’t hold hands with yourself or interlock your fingers; that means you’re reassuring yourself because you’re not confident. When you gesture, keep your hands below your chin and keep your fingers together. People who are nervous spread their fingers really wide.

9. Learn to harness some control over your own body language through role play.
We actually recommend that people take home videos and role-play situations with friends. A lot of people don’t even know what they’re doing until I show them on film. Once you see what your habits are, you can make a determined decision to unlearn or improve them.

Technorati Tags: Body language, Definitive Book of Body Language, Eye contact, Gesture, Nonverbal communication, Relationship, Sign language, Yahoo