“Opposites attract.” This is as far as electromagnetism is concerned. How about in human relationships, is there such a law of attraction? Is attraction a matter of chemistry?

In the animal kingdom, the attraction between animals of the opposite sex is all about chemicals called pheromones. The effect of pheromones in behavior of insects is the most studied to date. In some experiments involving ant colonies, pheromones are responsible for communication among same species.

Some species of apes rub pheromone-containing urine on the feet of potential mates to attract them. Some scientists believe that female insects and mammals send chemical signals that help their mates distinguish species.

The perfume industry has capitalized on pheromones as a means to increase one’s sexual attractiveness to the opposite sex. People hunt animals, such as the whale and the musk deer, for these chemicals.

Lately, scientists are looking into the existence of human pheromones and its role in mate selection. There are many conflicting views in the realms of biology, chemistry, genetics, and psychology. Most scientists would assert that these chemicals do not exist, or if these indeed exist, these chemicals do not play a role in sexual attraction between a man and a woman.

However, Swiss researchers from the University of Bern, led by Klaus Wedekind, are making scientists rethink their stand. The experiment involved women sniffing cotton shirts of different men during their ovulation period.

The study showed that women prefer the smell of shirts of men who shared similarities with the women’s genes. Like the case of insects and other mammals, this was to ensure healthier characteristics for their future children.

The said researchers cautioned that preference for male odor is also affected by women’s ovulation period, the food that men eat, perfumes and other scented body products, and the use of contraceptive pills.

Does personality figure in sexual attraction?

According to a research conducted by Klohnen, E.C., & S. Luo in 2003, a person’s sense of self-security and the person’s perception of his/her partner were strong determinants of attraction in hypothetical situations.

What does this tell you? You may have preference with regard to personality types and this explains your attraction to a particular person. However, the actual personality of the person can only be verified through close interaction through time. In this case, it is your perception of your potential partner’s personality that attracts you to him/her.

So, how does attraction figure in relationships?

You have probably heard that attraction is just a prelude. Attraction alone cannot make a relationship work. Attraction makes you notice a person from the opposite sex, but once you get to know the person more, attraction is just one consideration. Shared values, dreams, and passions become more significant in establishing long-term relationships.

If this is the case, should you stop trying to become attractive?

More than trying to become physically attractive, you should work on all aspects of your physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual well-being. Physical attraction is a precursor. Biology predisposes you to choose the partner with the healthiest genes.

Just ask yourself, “Would you want to spend time with a person who feels insecure about him/herself?” Probably not! There is wisdom in knowing yourself.

Never pretend to be someone you are not. Fooling another person by making him/her think that you share the same values and beliefs is only going to cause disappointments.

As mentioned in the Klohnen and Luo’s research, a person’s sense of self-security matters more than just physical attractiveness. Just be yourself!

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It is in this modern time that humans find themselves caught between many stimuli. These are caused by a high rate of information dissemination through new and numerous forms of media, as well as the period of human activities. It can also be associated to the fast rate of task accomplishments and higher degree of learning. And as every day passes, humans see themselves in a more complex society.

All these things influence human actions with regard to focus and attention. A lot of people find it hard to focus, with all the things that are running in their heads.

Here are some tips on how to improve focus and attention.

1. Organize thoughts and tasks

For you to see things more clearly, try to organize things using the following classifications:

- important and urgent
- urgent but not important
- important but not urgent
- not urgent and not important

Once you have classified things, it will be easier for you to focus on what really matters at a certain moment. You can set other things aside for a while until it is time to worry about them.

In this way, you are able to make proper use of your time. You are focused and concentrated because you are not in the state of panicking and cramming.

2. Always keep your goal in mind.

Focus is easier to achieve if you do not have much to think about. With that in mind, you should have something to guide you in eliminating unwanted thoughts.

Your goal is the ultimate guide that tells you what the things are that you should be dealing with. All unnecessary things must be set aside if they do not contribute to the achievement of your goal.

3. Hypnosis can do the trick.

It will be easier for you to channel your thoughts if your brain is accustomed to focus. And this can be done through exercising your mind in an induced state of hypnosis.

Because the brain is working at a lower frequency, it is more relaxed and is more capable of getting things done without distractions.

Oftentimes, people experience a low level of hypnosis when they are immersed in things that they are very interested in doing.

Here is a simple hypnosis activity that you can follow to get your mind more susceptible to focus and concentration.

1. Get in a comfortable position in a quiet place.
2. Clear your mind of other things and start to breath deeply.
3. Close your eyes and feel the different parts of your body.
4. As your progress in the task, try to focus on your right lower limb. Try to ignore other stimuli that your other body parts are feeling. Then imagine that your right leg is becoming warmer.
5. After the heat exercise, imagine that there is a light emanating from the tip of your limbs. Slowly, imagine moving this light up until it covers your whole body.
6. Do the same in the other leg.
7. Do the exercise with both legs involved.
8. Do the exercise with one arm at a time, then both arms.

You have the power to harness your mind and its way of thinking. It is up to you to adjust your focus and concentration in this time of vast information. You just have to know the proper tips in doing so.

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Every person wants to improve his or her self-esteem. The efforts to improve self-esteem could be conscious or unconscious. This simply means that some people actively pursue the goal of elevating their self-esteem while others tend to increase their self-esteem without knowing it. It is important though to know what areas of your life you want to improve specifically. In this way, you are not merely working on external indicators to reach your goal.

The problem is not all people know how to improve their self-esteem. In fact, it is easier for most people to damage their self-esteem than to build it. Unconsciously, we tend to decrease the image of ourselves through negative thinking. There is nothing worse than a negative thought to diminish or even destroy our self-image.

Below are some pointers on how you can improve your self-esteem.

Make a List of All Your Accomplishments

One of the best ways to improve your self-esteem is to take inventory of all your accomplishments. Be honest while you are compiling the list. In this way you will have an objective view of your abilities and capacities. Also in this way, you will gain insights into what areas of your life need improvements.

Make an Effort to Improve On the Weak Areas

After making a list of all your accomplishments and after discovering your weaknesses, the next thing you must do is to strive to improve on your weak areas. Resolutions are not only applicable during the start of the year. You can make a resolution anytime during the year.

One of the greatest concerns of individuals who have made resolutions is how to stick to the resolutions. As everyone probably knows, most New Year resolutions are broken come March, sometimes even earlier.

To stick to resolutions, you must strive to change just one or two things at a time. Promising to change many things at once is just setting yourself up for failure. Start small and you’ll be amazed to discover that your life is changing already.

Set Clear Goals

For you to reach a certain goal, you must first be able to formulate it clearly. If you want to lose weight for example, don’t just say that you want to have a flat stomach or a small waist. Say instead, that you want to achieve a 28 inch waist or I want to lose 10 pounds.

The advantage of having clearly defined goals is that it will be easier for you to track your progress. It will also be easier for you to create the best strategies to reach the goal faster. If you have clear goals, you will be amazed at how things seem to fall in the right place. Every circumstance, every person that you will meet will help you in achieving your goal.

Play a Game

Some games have the ability to increase self-esteem. This is especially true with children. Games are effective in building self-esteem since through them children can gauge their abilities and skills. Games can also improve the skills that the children already have.

Remember That Life Is a Journey

There is a saying that the journey is more important than the destination. The same is true with life. So enjoy wherever you are right now and believe that life only gets better.

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You bump into a familiar face and can’t remember his name. You go shopping and forget where you parked the car. You promised to call a friend only to have it slip your mind. You go to the garage and move about endlessly without knowing what you were trying to look for.

Experts say that certain moments in your life cause you to lose memory; but if the scenes above are normal events in your daily life, then you may be suffering from poor memory. Read this article to find three techniques to improve your memory.

Basic Principle to Improve Memory

There are many memory-improving techniques known as mnemonics. They are memory codes that allow you to remember specific pieces of information. To be effective, a mnemonic should adhere to the 12 basic principles of how memory works, using the acronym SMASHIN’ SCOPE: senses, movement, association, sexuality, humor, imagination, number, symbolism, color, order or sequence, positive images, and exaggeration.

The idea is to paint a vivid mental picture of whatever it is you wish to remember. Use this principle in the three of the simplest and most common memory techniques.

1. Link System

This is the most basic system, useful for memorizing chores and lists. If you have to remember a shopping list, think of all the words on the list and weave them into a mental scenario, using all the 12 principles above. For example, when given a list as follows: dog, skirt, pink, flowers, shoes, apples, teapot, ironing, fountain, and aerobics. Make links between the words to make remembering easier.  Think of a DOG dancing around in a SKIRT. Linking second and third words, The PINK SKIRT was printed with FLOWERS and SHOES, etc until you reach the last item.  When you get to the end, link the last item with the first. You should now have a mental film that you can replay to remember all the words in the correct sequence.

2. Peg System

This uses a special list of key memory images that never change and to which you can peg everything you want to remember. For example, the number-shape system, which is good for remembering events in sequence, is one type of peg system. Associate a number with an image and use that to remember the sequence using the images. Again, use the 12 principles to be able to create a vivid, mental picture of the images associated with the numbers.

3. Mind Mapping

This is the most comprehensive of all the techniques. Mind mapping involves taking a key central image of the concept you want to remember and branching out all the information related to it. It’s like creating a road map that allows you to roam around your mind remembering everything related to the key image. It is excellent for organizing a busy timetable or large quantities of information.

Using a large sheet of paper and a range of colored pens, draw a symbol representing you in the middle of the page. From the central image, draw thick branches out to the key topics you need to remember - use a separate color for each. These are called basic ordering ideas (BOIs) and act like chapter headings in a book. From your BOIs draw thinner branches out to the information that falls within each chapter. Remember to use the 12 basic principles in your map. Using images, color, humor, and your own special codes is vital. Edit and reorganize the map until it contains all you need to know in a memorable format.

These are three ways to remember … to help you improve your memory.

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