Using the power of the mind is a very underrated tool in today’s world of strength athletics. The mind is the most powerful thing you have. However, don’t get it twisted. Simply meditating on a big lift for 24 hours won’t push one to a 100-lb PR. Use the mind frequently throughout the day whether it be in lifting or in life. It’s very simple and you can start applying these principles today. Setting goals Crack open just about any book on psychology or any decent self-help book and you will see that humans are goal or task oriented. Making a ‘to do list’ at the start of every day or every week and completing those tasks works well with your psyche because this is how humans operate by nature. This is why having short-term goals (daily, weekly, monthly) and long-term goals (quarterly, bi-annually, annually) are very important to being a personally successful human. It’s progress that can be measured. Focusing on goals is the single most important thing you can do to stay disciplined with training. If you really, really wanted to reach a 700-pound squat in your next meet and you’re passionate about it and meditate on it all the time, I’d like to see you skip a training session. I’m sure you wouldn’t because you’d keep thinking about it. Don’t be foolish though. Every powerlifter wants to squat a thousand pounds and every Strongman wants to load a 500-pound stone. Know where you are at and avoid stupid mistakes. Your goals should be difficult but realistic. Once a goal is completed, you have overcome adversity. Be sure to take note of your critics as well. Proving someone wrong is the icing on the cake when your goals have been met. Visualization Visualizing a big accomplishment is the key to actually making it. For example, let’s take a heavy farmer’s walk for 100 feet. Visualize that walk and keep visualizing it with more detail every time. If you’re intense enough in the imagination of the farmer’s walk, your brain will actually take it as a real experience. This phenomena is called synthetic experience. You’ve received positive feedback from the brain. The cool thing about this is that your brain can’t tell the difference! If you think this is crap, try it yourself. It works for the world’s best athletes, so why won’t it work for you? Apply this practically to your lifts or skills. If you have an important contest coming up, start visualizing weeks beforehand. Have a chip on your shoulder and pursue your goals relentlessly. For practices/sessions, it works well to start the day before. Don’t be overzealous. Visualizing your squat session three months away is just completely idiotic. Belief in oneself Everyone has a self-image. A self-image is how you see yourself among others. Having a good self-image allows for a positive attitude. You will also have more happiness, better relationships, and more success. As a lifter, be positive. If you’ve been lifting for a while, you know as well as anyone that you’re going to have ups and downs. If you’re a newbie to training, the take home message is to keep pursuing your goals. On the flip side, if you have a bad attitude, complain a lot, and never take responsibility for yourself, you’re destined to live an unfulfilled, unhappy life with few people to share it with. Be confident, not arrogant! Believe in yourself and believe in your training partners. Having positive, like-minded training partners is the best blessing one will ever have in training. They will hold you accountable and expect you to work hard. Know what makes you tick Unfortunately, getting people psyched up isn’t a one-way street. To illustrate, athlete A might go absolutely nuts. He may scream, yell, and slap himself. Then he’s ready to go out and do his thing, but for athlete B, he might need a controlled fire until it’s his time to perform. Know what works for you. If you tend to do better thinking of negative things that you’ve encountered and slowly letting the anger build until you’re ready to release it on an implement, do that. If you do better staying content until you’re ready, do that. This will take time to figure out for yourself. Experiment and see what works and bag anything that doesn’t.

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Kristin Neff and her colleague Chris Germer run various programs to teach self-compassion skills and have published several books on the subject. Compassion is a key component of Buddhist psychology which is reshaping the science and practice of psychotherapy in America. This article is an introduction to mindful self-compassion. For more details read the books and articles written by these two authors. People in modern Western cultures are driven by the quest to be exceptional to generate feelings of self-worth. Self-esteem refers to our perceived value, sense of self-worth or how much we like and respect ourselves. Self-esteem is often determined by our uniqueness and difference from others and how special we are as individuals. In the US and other countries there is a strong focus on building self-esteem as a way of overcoming depression and negative feelings. However this reliance on showing a difference and being exceptional can be counter-productive because, quite frankly, most of us are average and not distinctive.             It is simply not possible for everyone to be exceptional and well above average, at the same time. While there may be some things unique and exceptional about us, there is always someone who is better and things change. To develop self-esteem we tend to pump up our own egos and pull down the ego of others so that we can feel good about ourselves in comparison. But this strategy of needing to find a difference can be very negative, as it can makes us aware of our failings, mistakes and under achievements. We can become the victims of our own self-judgment and of our low self-esteem. Self- compassion offers a solution to low self-esteem and self-judgment Unlike self-esteem, the benefits of self-compassion do not depend on you feeling you are special in some way, above average, or have met expectations. Rather, they come from caring and being compassionate about ourselves. Instead of playing the endless game of competition, we engage with what we share with others, and benefit from this sharing. The benefits of self-compassion in helping us to feel good about ourselves, do not disappear when things go wrong or we make mistakes. On the contrary self-compassion steps in whenever we feel inadequate, fail or make errors, precisely when our self-esteem would be destroyed leaving us vulnerable and damaged. Of course, self-esteem and self-compassion are correlated and do tend to go together. If you are self-compassionate, you will probably also have higher self-esteem because you will be less critical of yourself. Similar to high self-esteem, self-compassion leads to much less anxiety and depression. It also leads to optimism, more happiness and more positive emotions. However, self-compassion trumps self-esteem when things go wrong, you make mistakes or your ego is threatened in some way. Self-compassion also stimulates your desire to make changes in your life which would be impossible if you regard yourself as worthless or unacceptable. Mindfulness is being actively aware of despair, confusion, feelings of inadequacy and other forms of stress. Self-compassion means acting the same way towards yourself, when you are having a hard time, suffer a failure, or become aware of your own inadequacy, as when you show compassion for others in similar circumstances. Having self-compassion means that you honour, respect and accept your humanness that is shared with everyone else. Self-compassion is simply a natural, healthy response to feeling bad and coping with it. Mindful self-compassion means instead of ignoring your pain or anxiety or stoically resisting it, you act proactively by finding ways for comforting and caring for yourself. It means responding with understanding and kindness, applying self-compassion to various emotions that you are aware of, including fear, sadness, shame, anger and self-doubt. It means stopping self-judgement and not labelling ourselves as ‘bad’ or ‘good’. It means accepting ourselves as we are, and treating ourselves with the same compassion as we would offer to a close friend. It is derived form Buddhist concepts of the importance of compassion, including compassion for yourself. The principle is that you should care about yourself so that you can fully care about other people. Mindful self-compassion can be adopted and learnt as a discipline by anyone by learning to apply good will towards self. The concept is encapsulated in the quotes shown below from Pena Chödrön, a Buddhist monk in the Tibetan tradition. When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times (Shambhala Classics) by Pema Chödrön Source: http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/8052.Pema_C… When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times (Shambhala Classics) by Pema Chödrön Source: http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/8052.Pema_C… When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times (Shambhala Classics) by Pema Chödrön Source: http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/8052.Pema_C… The Three Elements of Self-Compassion 1. Self-kindness - Self-compassion means being warm, kind and understanding when we feel inadequate, suffer or fail in some way, rather than punishing ourselves with self-judgement and self-criticism. Failing, falling short of ideals, being imperfect and having problems in life is inevitable, and requires kindness, understanding and gentleness. 2. Universal humanity - All humans suffer, have problems, difficulties and imperfections. Self-compassion means recognizing that personal inadequacy and problems are part of the shared human experience and can be triggered by external factors. Recognizing that we are all interdependent means we can share life’s failings and difficulties. It also means we can be less judgemental with ourselves and less personal in attributing blame. 3. Mindfulness - Mindfulness is a receptive, aware and non-judgmental mental state which embraces all or our real thoughts and feelings without trying to deny of suppress them. We can only feel compassion if we recognise our pain and acknowledge our own weaknesses and imperfections. Ignoring our flaws, suppressing our negative feelings, or blaming someone else for our problems, may provide temporary relief. But confronting the issues and recognising them as soon as they occur is better than ‘bottling them up’ and getting stuck in endless cycles of conflict and stagnation. Self-pity and Self-Compassion When people pity themselves, they start to drown alone in the mire of their own difficulties and don’t recognise that other people have similar problems. They fail to see that we are all interconnected and that we don’t have to deal with things alone and by ourselves. Self-pity leads to a sense of isolation which magnifies personal suffering and pain. Self-compassion, on the other hand, allows you to share your experiences to a common shatred problem and reduces the feelings of isolation and disconnection. Self-indulgence and Self-Compassion Being self-compassionate means that you want to cope with your problems and be happy and healthy in the long term. Being self-focused and self-indulgent leads to many problems especially when we blame ourselves for what has happened or blame our inadequacies and imperfections. Where there is ‘no pain there is no gain’ and making changes to improve your health and well being requires effort, pain and displeasure. Being self-indulgent puts blinkers on our awareness of what we need to do to make changes (requiring a panoramic view). Self-esteem and Self-Compassion Although self-compassion and self-esteem are closely related there are several important differences. Self-esteem describes our perceived sense of our own value, our sense of self-worth and how much we like ourselves. In modern Western societies, self-esteem can only be demonstrated by showing our uniqueness and difference from others. We must stand out from the crowd and be special in some way. On the other hand, self-compassion is not based on self-evaluations or self-judgement compared with other people. All human beings, including ourselves, deserve compassion and understanding. This means that you don’t have to feel you are ‘better than the pack’ to have self respect and good feelings towards yourself. Self-compassion also means that we acknowledge our failings and deal with them in a kind and compassionate way avoiding the need to hide our failing to protect our need to be superior in some way. Also self-compassion isn’t at risk from external circumstances, it can always be applied when things change or problems occur. In contrast our self-esteem is always at risk and vulnerable to circumstances and can be brought undone so easily though of bout of self-judgement.

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The theme of this Sagittarius moon cycle got me thinking– what does it mean to be really positive? Not just superficially cheerful, but to be the kind of person who really makes a difference, who has that positive radiance? I have heard it said that we should always “look on the bright side”, but it seems to me, if you take this idea literally, sometimes, looking on the bright side can be invalidating. It can be dishonest. I find it noteworthy that Jesus didn’t always “look on the bright side”. In fact He wasn’t known for having a cheerful smile on at all times. Instead, He was earnest and real. He didn’t slap on a smile and say “well, God never closes a window without opening a door!” (Ugh!) No, He knew how to suffer. He knew how to express His suffering, how to let it out. To weep, to mourn, even to complain. And then, having healthfully expressed His true feelings, He rolled up His sleeves and did what He knew He should do. I see wisdom in that. Being Centered To me living a positive lifestyle means first, to find my own center of peace. That no matter what happens and what I see and how “rattled” I may get, I am okay. It’s going to be okay. But the only way that things are really okay, is if the scary feelings– the ugly feelings– ALL the feelings– are okay. It’s okay to FEEL anxious, angry, resentful, whiny, greedy, lazy, irritated, depressed, whatever. I accept ALL my feelings, examine them, feel them, and then I keep coming back to one true thing: I am okay. I am angry and I am okay. I am disappointed and I am okay. I am frightened and I am okay. Etc. I take my flower essences, and do whatever helps me feel in touch with the spirit of God and my own spirit. I don’t think that people can be really centered– really peaceful and happy– if they’re just pretending to be happy. You can’t skip the step where you examine your uncomfortable feelings. If you say, “Ishouldn’t feel angry, because that’s not fair or that’s not nice,” you have now judged yourself and given yourself a condition for acceptance. You have repressed your angry feelings– because they’re still unresolved. Never judge your feelings. Feelings are not right or wrong, they just are. They are a learning tool because they give us a clue to our beliefs and thought processes. When we change our beliefs and thought processes, our feelings will change, too, naturally, and in a real, healthy way. In the meantime, we can accept our feelings without acting on them! You can FEEL angry without acting violent or mean, and if you accept and are aware of your anger, you are less likely to act passive-aggressive or explode or lose control. When you have loving awareness of your emotional state, you have control over your behavior. Being Aware Secondly, I was thinking that being positive means not hiding my head in the sand about other people’s issues. Not looking the other way. It means being active, in whatever way I can. Spreading information. Spreading joy. Addressing basic needs like food, shelter and clean water because when someone is hungry or freezing, information and joy don’t mean a thing. It means having the courage to go against social corms, to rock the boat, to stand up for what you know is right. It means taking sides when necessary. “We must take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Sometimes we must interfere. When human lives are endangered, when human dignity is in jeopardy, national borders and sensitivities become irrelevant. Wherever men and women are persecuted because of their race, religion, or political views, that place must – at that moment – become the center of the universe.”  ? Elie Wiesel Being Loving To me, being positive means LOVING, myself and other people. Loving myself first because when my own heart is full, I have something to give! Loving my kids is also a primary priority because my most important job right now is helping these whole and happy little human beings take their place in the world to do their part to make the world a better place, thereby helping even more people. If I help others and yet neglect my responsibilities at home, and my children grow up with emotional deficits, have I really helped the world, in net results? But soon enough my children will be grown and independent and a different season in my life will begin. For now I am needed the most at home. Still, there is much I can do to help. Living on the bus is handy for this, because when we drive by a homeless person we can easily pull over and give them food. I can’t do that when I’m taking a walk because I don’t have my kitchen with me! I think the key is to just do what you can where you can with the resources you have. Just to love, just to care, is so much. Have you ever thought about how radical it is, to love? To really care about other people? People who’s welfare has little or no bearing on your own? How unusual, to offer love unconditionally? Without expectation of gain? Loving people doesn’t mean you think everything they do is right. It doesn’t mean that you have judged them and found them “worthy”. It means you love them anyway and without need for judgement and that you don’t believe you are better than them. That’s the unconditional part. When you see a homeless man huddled on a dark step, you don’t think you’re better than him. You feel aware of your privilege, you feel compassion and empathy. You give him food because if you’re reading this, you can probably go get more food, but maybe he can’t. And it doesn’t matter why he’s there and it’s none of your business if he brought it upon himself, because everyone makes mistakes. You make mistakes. And when we are wrong is when we need to be loved the most. Not in a condescending way, but in a humble and understanding way. Boundaries Loving people doesn’t mean you don’t set firm boundaries when necessary. You can love and set boundaries– and indeed you should or it’s not real love. You can love even harmful, toxic people from afar– with no contact if that’s what it takes to protect yourself– by thinking of them in a forgiving and compassionate way, by being respectful and not insulting. By, again, not thinking that you are better or more worthy than them. When you are this considerate of all people, it shows how much love and confidence you have in yourself. And not thinking of yourself as better than them, means recognizing that you don’t really know what advantages/disadvantages they are dealing with. For instance, some people’s brains are wired for mental illnesses and unhealthy behaviors where others’ aren’t. This is no more their fault than someone who is born with a weak heart, or allergies, or ADD. Some people’s brains are wired to have the potential to become sociopaths, if they experience certain kinds of trauma as children. Other children could go through the same experience, and because they don’t have that kind of brain, they come out of the experience with some other coping mechanism, often, as still-compassionate people. People who have studied neurology and do brain scans (like Dr. Daniel Amen, for instance) have noted that criminals show an extremely high incidence of brain trauma injuries and brain disorders. Can you tell me without a doubt that if you hadn’t been born with that problem, or received an injury that damaged your brain in that way, that you wouldn’t be in that situation? In prison, or emotionally detached, or homeless on the street? Privilege Brain health is just one privilege that you may enjoy. Privilege is any advantage that makes your life easier, not due to your own actions. I am sure all of you enjoy several privileges of some kind, if you think about it. There are the big ones– white privilege, male privilege. But there are many kinds of privilege of all kinds– being tall, or naturally slender, or athletic, or attractive. It is well-supported that people who are taller and/or more attractive make more money and are more well-liked overall. There is the privilege of being healthy, or reasonably healthy. The privilege of being born with a high “IQ”. The privilege of being born particularly talented in some way. The privilege of having good parents, or if you don’t have good parents, even having any person who loved you and was there for you– because some people don’t have anyone. The privilege of having access to books and running water and the internet. And so when we recognize our various privileges, we see that it is not fair to ever consider ourselves better than anyone else, because we usually have little knowledge of what path someone else’s life has taken to lead them to where they are, or what we would have done in their shoes, and you probably have no real idea of how functional their brain is. The Root of Violence The point is to give people the benefit of the doubt, because it’s not our place to determine which humans are more or less valuable. We can determine which humans are more or less dangerous, and more or less in need of help, and deal with those issues on a practical level, but we can also do so with humanity and compassion. I believe that sizing people up and deciding who is better than whom, is the beginning ofviolence. The root of violence, is judging another human being’s worth, when that is never our job to do. Changing Our World To be truly positive, we must be realistic and aware. This way we can actually affect positive change in the world. Taking care of ourselves, spiritually, emotionally, and physically is important, but it is only the first step. The second step is to go out there and do good things. And do them again, and again. Optimism, positivity, and joy, are infectious. A smile can be contagious, too, but sometimes what someone needs is not a smile but validation. Someone to say: “yeah, that sucks. I’m so sorry that happened to you.” And not moralize, but just listen, or offer a shoulder to cry on. And sometimes what people need is food, shelter, clothing, just the basics. And to spread information, because information is freedom. A Note to the Weary and Depressed I would like to make one more comment. It is very hard to get out there and be active in helping, if your spirit or body feels sick. If you feel depressed or overwhelmed or overburdened, the last thing you need is somebody telling you what you should be doing and that you should be doing morethings. In the art of healing people with energy (therapeutic touch, Reiki, massage, etc.,) it is commonly recognized that sick people should recuperate and heal before giving healing energy. If you are depressed, chronically sick or just feeling overburdened, it may take more than a day, more than a week, more than a year to get to a place where you feel strong enough to help other people. And that’s okay! Healing takes time. When you feel well enough, I believe the wanting to reach out to others will come naturally. The key is to look at what, in your spirit and life, is making you ill; what is not supporting your wellness and strength and happiness. Then work at trying to transition to a life that is nurturing and sustaining. I recommend flower essences, of course, and also I love the book Feelings Buried Alive Never Die. Another good one is A Pace of Grace– except I don’t condone her nutrition advice, lol. Whatever you need to feel better, remember that “You, as much as anyone else in the world, deserve your love and affection.” –Buddha

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Do you feel like you’ve got way too much to do, and not enough time to do it in? Perhaps you find yourself getting upset, angry or despondent at times, feeling as though life is spiraling out of your control. It’s not a good state to be in – and you know that. But breaking away from those panicked feelings can be tough. Here’s a few simple steps that can help you get back on top of things. #1: Take a Quick Time-Out It’s important to take a few minutes to breathe and focus. If you’re in the middle of a stressful situation – perhaps the house is a complete mess, or work is a huge, chaotic rush – then it’s hard to get any perspective. Go for a quick walk, grab a shower, or just sit still with your eyes closed for a few minutes. Give yourself a chance to calm down, before you start trying to plan. #2: Make a List Once you’re feeling calmer, grab a piece of paper, or open up a document on your computer, and make a list of everything that you think you need to get done. If something’s on your mind, put it down – however big or small. Your list may well have some urgent items (“clean kitchen before mother-in-law visits tomorrow”) and some which are more long-term, but important (“lose 50lbs and get fitter”). Once you’ve got everything out of your head and onto paper, you’ll feel a lot better. Hopefully, you’ll already be able to see some items that can wait a while and others that can be checked off quickly. You might even want to start sorting or prioritizing your list, to make the next couple of steps easier. #3: Start With Small Wins Obviously, making a list isn’t going to get you far. (As a kid, did you ever make an elaborate, color-coded study plan for your exams? Did you actually stick to it?) You need to start taking action – and a great place to begin is by tackling any “small wins” – simple, quick tasks that you can do straight away. They might not be especially important, but by doing them, you’ll start to build up a sense of momentum. Small wins are especially powerful when they relate to tasks that you’ve been putting off – a phone call, perhaps, or sending off a letter. #4: Ditch, Delegate, Delay If your list still looks overwhelming, then it’s time to get rid of some tasks. Can you ditch anything? Perhaps you don’t really need fresh-baked cookies for when your parents visit – you could just buy a packet from the store. Can you delegate anything? If you’re overloaded at work, can you get a colleague to take over a few tasks? If you’re the one who does all the housework at home, how about assigning specific chores to your partner or kids? Can you delay anything? If you’re rushing to get everything done before you head off on vacation, can you put off some things until you get back? #5: Take Care of Your Health Finally, when you’re feeling overwhelmed by life, it’s especially important to take care of your health. You know all the basics: • Eat sensibly – don’t skip meals because you’re “too busy”, or grab junk food. • Exercise regularly – even a 20-minute brisk walk every day can make a huge difference. • Get enough sleep – cutting back won’t make you more productive, as you’ll end up slowing down during the day If you get sick, you’re going to find it even harder to get things done – so make sure that your health is a priority. What tips do you have for dealing with overwhelm? How do you get back on top of things when life is hectic?

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