Ways on how to improve self esteem, however, won’t lend us a clear direction regarding our confidence if we fail to identify what causes us to have low self esteem. So the first step is to inquire on why our self esteem is chronically low, or why our self esteem sometimes plunges. Was it due to the pile of criticisms that we received while growing up and which we can’t get over with? Was it because of upcoming events, like company presentations, which can cause nervousness? Was it because of friction in relationships with family, friends, or colleagues? Was it because of devastating situations, like sickness or termination?
Once all relevant problems are identified, the next logical step on how to improve self esteem is on sorting them out into those which you can solve and those which you can solve. This distinction is important in figuring out how to improve self esteem. Often we have a mix of those problems; it is important to identify where each problem falls – and not to classify incorrectly.
What we can solve, we solve, and how to improve self esteem here is to blot out in our mind self-talk which tells us that we are incapable of succeeding in our endeavors. Negative self-talk of that sort takes the place of thinking how to actually solve our problems. So the time that we spend on self-pity about our problems is better spent on telling ourselves that we can prevail, and on finding out ways to prevail. The solutions need not fall like manna in one go – they may come gradually, and each time a solution comes to us, we will feel that it is indeed possible to conquer problems. Conquering problems is one of the best ways on how to improve self esteem, and that will lead us to conquer more problems, because solutions to past problems, in mathematics as well as in the game of life, can help us look at future problems with more sharpness and alertness, and increased knowledge naturally increases confidence.
Regarding those problems which are insoluble – and aren’t really problems in the formal sense – we should still find out what we can change about them. That brings us to the perennial half-glass situation: is the half-glass half-empty or half-full? How to improve self esteem dictates that the answer should be half-full; if we can’t fill the glass, at least we should fill our head with positive thoughts regarding that glass. Being incapable to get rid of unfavorable situations we can’t avoid doesn’t mean that we are a failure as a person; that only means that the situation is beyond our grasp, and so must live with it. And if our sole choice is to live with it, at least we should live with it smiling and analytical, and we should make the best of it at all times and be grateful for our fortunes.
Sometimes, following them at first can be difficult, because they seem too mechanical and puppetlike, but from them, one can indeed learn how to improve self esteem. Happy people often smile; smiling can be practiced; smiling often can lead you to find situations where you smile often, and thus leads you to more happiness. A high level of self esteem isn’t an exclusive property of those lucky enough to be endowed with it; the different ways on how to improve selfesteem are accessible to us and can be done every day.
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